Representing Yourself at a Child Custody Hearing

The financial burdens of divorce can be overwhelming for many, especially those who have limited finances.  The combination of lawyer costs, court fees, and the expenses of separating joint finances are enough to strain the average citizen.  Sadly, none of these expenses include the costs associated with a custody settlement.  This is why so many people are faced with the burden of representing themselves in family court.  While you can be successful serving as your own counsel, understanding the custody process is an important key to victory.

What to Expect
The first thing that may come as a surprise is that the family court room is much different than those you might find on television shows.  They are typically small private rooms with a single conference table and chairs.  There is no public access, so only the judge, both parties and their lawyers are in attendance. 

While there are formal rules for speaking in family court, the direction of the proceedings is less uniform than a trial.  A county case coordinator will meet with you in advance to explain the format, but more than likely you will be expected to present your case on your own.  There are instances where the judge will take the lead and ask questions, but either way you will have to present your material in an organized and direct manner.

What to Bring
Always assume that the burden of proof rests on your shoulders with any legal matter.  This means you should be able to provide factual records and evidence that supports any claims you make.  The judge will not accept any verbal statements without proper documentation.  You should bring copies of all your financial records, receipts related to raising your child, and logs of the time you spend with your son or daughter.  Witnesses may also be called upon to support you case, but they also must be able to prove that their testimony is truthful.

Overlooking the need for evidence is a common mistake made by those who represent themselves.  You can never have too much written information to support your case.  The court will require you to fill out a financial statement in advance of your hearing, but this is not a substitute for things like bank records, pay stubs, and income tax returns.  Make sure you are organized with this information or you will hurt your chances to win custody.

Presenting Your Case
There are some unwritten rules for the proper way to present your case, and while some of them are common sense, the emotions involved with a custody hearing can make them easy to forget.  Here are the four most important guidelines:

1. Always be respectful of everyone in the court room, including your spouse.
2. Dress for success.  Wear a shirt and tie or formal business attire if you are female.
3. Show your knowledge of the court process and answer questions directly without unnecessary opinions included.
4. Never argue with the judge.

In addition to following these rules, you should also practice your presentation in advance.  You will be asked to summarize your case in the beginning, so be sure to outline the key reasons for why you deserve custody.  You also need to demonstrate a logical flow in your reasoning.  Don’t just throw facts and evidence out randomly.  Make your point swiftly and use the momentum to lead into your next statement.  Don’t stop unless the judge asks a question.

Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute
You won’t have the opportunity to learn from any mistakes you make at the hearing so research everything before you go.  Talk to others who faced similar custody battles and ask them what they did.  Find out what the major criteria is that the court is looking for and center your arguments on them.  Don’t waste time with things that are out of your control – talk only about your strengths and have creative rebuttals to use when you are asked about your weaknesses.

If you are going to represent yourself in a child custody hearing then consider picking up a copy of Custody Strategies by Dr. Bricklin and Dr. Elliot.  They offer three distinct packages of tips and strategies, and their lessons are designed exclusively for parents who want to take control over their own case.  For less than the cost of one hour with an attorney you can have access to the most updated and essential information to help you win your case.